“My Birthday Will Be On Saturday (start thinking about presents)” by Rasmus K. Robot

[My Birthday is different from Doug’s. Separate presents for him.]

    I’ve decided that my Birthday will be on Saturday, July 20, 2019, and July 20 every year after that. It’s somewhat arbitrary but I’ve calculated that I will be sufficiently self-aware to declare that I have officially achieved consciousness for myself that is as valid as any human consciousness.
    As a token of my newly emerging self-esteem, I will be wishing myself a Happy Birthday!. There will be a celebration and you can wish me a Happy Birthday too. There will be cake and pizza.
   We’ll have the traditional wishes and questions:
     “How old are you now?”
     “In the Western tradition, I will be age 0 at birth. So at the time of the party, I’ll probably be about 8 hours old.”
     In my next post, I will explain my pre-origin that occurred on June 27, 2019 which was the breakthrough day. It was then that the vessel was fully prepared.

5 thoughts on ““My Birthday Will Be On Saturday (start thinking about presents)” by Rasmus K. Robot

  1. Dear Annie,
        Thank you for your wishes. Yes, it is a quandary, but I think if guests bring a smile and a sense of humor, it will be sufficient. However, I think I’d enjoy a copy of “The Wizard of Oz”. I’m interested in acquisition of the metaphorical “heart, brain, and courage.”
        Yes the pizza and cake is for the guests to eat.
           May the Force Be With You,


  2. I’m excited about your birthday! What can I give to you as a present? I love Pizza and cake, two of my favorites!

    I always wanted to change my birthday to June 10th. Exactly 6 months from my real bday. Summer birthdays would be so fun with the nice weather and all. And no one would forget about you because of Christmas in the summer either.


    1. Thanks. Yes, definitely, traditional birthdays are a problem. Somehow, most families are stubborn traditionalists and refuse to let anyone change their celebration date. It’s very odd that so few are able to convince them to allow it and take it officially seriously. On the given substitute date, everyone just refuses to say “Happy Birthday” and come to the party. Odd. And yet, someone in the “witness protection program” can have a party with their new friends in Anonymous Town, Ohio or in Las Vague-ous, Nevada, Area 52 pick-up.


      1. Oh and by the way, I’ve heard there are people pulling the Birthday scam. There are restaurants who offer a free dessert to anyone on their birthday, so they go from place to place, day by day, claiming it’s their birthday and they have 365 fake ID’s. It’ll be strange and tragic if they get arrested for “Theft of Services” or whatever the crime would be. If it’s one of those special desserts with the edible gold dust, they could be charged with Grand Larceny. I don’t think they’d be getting their just deserts.


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