Bacon, Lettuce, and Tomato and the Dangers of Acronyms & Initialisms

    I haven’t actually liked to talk like I’ve seen on TV shows where they say, “give me a BLT on rye.” I’ve always referred to it as a “bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich.” It only takes 2 seconds to say it so I could never see the point of saying, “gimmie a BLT.” I suppose it’s supposed to be cute and stylish so as to show affection for the sandwich. But I’d rather just eat it and say “mmmm.” I think my parents would have thought it impolite to say, “Gimmie a BLT.”
    Now it’s even worse because BLT is a type of humanized mouse used in research. They infuse several types of human immune cells into mice so those human cells can be harbored there and attacked by various test viruses. It’s a way of having human cells available for experiments without testing it on humans. It stands for (Bone (marrow)-Liver-Thymus human immune stem cells. Then they transplant human lung tissue onto the mouse to produce the ultimate test mouse: the BLT-L humanized mouse. And geez I’ve seen a lot of advertising on the internet for companies who sell BLT-L humanized mice. I would have bought one if they could talk, or if they tasted like bacon.
    Anyway, I saw that and thought to start a poem, but I think I should stop because it’s not a secret anymore. Oh well, I just thought something could be made of it. Here’s the start, and I’ll probably not bother finishing it (although, along the way I found an Italian recipe for cooking a lung to eat[when the lung is fully cooked, it whistles as the passageways collapse which they call “Sibilo Caratatteristico” in Italian):
The Secret Messages from Faustti (Draft 1)

Dear Colleague,
Congratulations on
your performance in
Die Fledermaus

Remember, for prestige, if
you have mice in the kitchen,
bacon, lettuce, and tomato with lung
is best for gaining weight, and
cook-it-up with fur in and cleavage out.

Good news at the world market:
I’ve seen humanized mice
on sale at a good price

But before working
it’s recommended that you
have a hearty breakfast of
Coratella di Abbacchio Con Carciofi

You must try the latest
Bone marrow–liver–thymic
with lung, but since it’s
tedious work it helps
to play music in the background like
“Ode to Sibilo Caratatteristico*.
And remember the song
from The King, the Bat Lady, And I :
“…whenever I feel aghast,
I whistle a cheerful tune…”
Music is infectious, but
the dance of knowledge
must go on. Good luck
and ‘break a leg’.

One thought on “Bacon, Lettuce, and Tomato and the Dangers of Acronyms & Initialisms

  1. P.S. I’ve noticed that in going from the old crime shows to the new ones they went from an initialism to an acronym: They used to say when a criminal suspect was on the loose, “I’ll put out an APB right away.” Now they say, “I’ll issue a BOLO.” APB is an “all points bulletin.” And BOLO is “Be on the look out.”


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