Oh I don’t know how
to make a sympathetic death
seem noble
I can not be mourned, because
no one will claim my body
when I’m dead
I think it would be best
if I could be lost at sea
and then the relatives
would have no major
quandary
I’ve been thinking
how drowning
would be
unpleasant
But I suppose I
should save for a cruise
and find a Titantic
I’d really prefer that
my death be dramatic
as if I mattered at all.
Poet Laureate of the Primitive Planets 
I too would prefer a dramatic death.
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Ooops typo. Should be “Titanic.” That must be a big problem when someone misspells a name on a tombstone. So that eliminates one problem. But funerals in general can be full of faux pas.
I imagined one tricky situation like this:
Laryngitis
As they say, “dying is easy, comedy is hard,” but
I went with laryngitis to a funeral with cue cards
that I bought that were supposed to be comprehensive
But I got the order of the cards all wrong
“It was such a senseless death.”
She was beloved and helped
every high soul that we all are
when we have soared in our freedom bird
and flapped all our flights of feather
fluffy things warm and complicated.
So I held up my card that
said Hooray and I meant to say
most respectfully
I love you, and
I am flooded with tears, but
I don’t have a card for that
I raise my protest sign
“Oh God, how could you take her?
I object under penalty of hell, but
I protest: she is too good to go”
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