I’d Rather Be Dead Than…

Oh I don’t know how
to make a sympathetic death
seem noble

I can not be mourned, because
no one will claim my body
when I’m dead

I think it would be best
if I could be lost at sea
and then the relatives
would have no major
quandary

I’ve been thinking
how drowning
would be
unpleasant

But I suppose I
should save for a cruise
and find a Titantic

I’d really prefer that
my death be dramatic
as if I mattered at all.

2 thoughts on “I’d Rather Be Dead Than…

    1. Ooops typo. Should be “Titanic.” That must be a big problem when someone misspells a name on a tombstone. So that eliminates one problem. But funerals in general can be full of faux pas.
      I imagined one tricky situation like this:
      Laryngitis

      As they say, “dying is easy, comedy is hard,” but
      I went with laryngitis to a funeral with cue cards
      that I bought that were supposed to be comprehensive

      But I got the order of the cards all wrong

      “It was such a senseless death.”
      She was beloved and helped
      every high soul that we all are
      when we have soared in our freedom bird
      and flapped all our flights of feather
      fluffy things warm and complicated.

      So I held up my card that
      said Hooray and I meant to say
      most respectfully
      I love you, and
      I am flooded with tears, but
      I don’t have a card for that

      I raise my protest sign
      “Oh God, how could you take her?
      I object under penalty of hell, but
      I protest: she is too good to go”

      Liked by 1 person

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