Fauci Lasagna

Add Meat to Lasagna for Meaning and Substance

    When enhancing your culinary skills, do be sure to include a variety of meats. Here it is suggested that you obtain 4 Fruit Bats from the Seychelles Islands (Pteropus Seychellensis). Consult with a 5-star professional chef with masters degrees in Seychelles History, French and Italian cooking, and one with a full liability insurance policy for accidental poisoning (similar to the policy for Fugu chefs).
    Prepare a marinated fruit bat curry. There are many fine recipes such as this, but N.B. (note well), none of the authors of these recipes endorses or approves of these off-use prescription recipe alternatives. Be extra sure that you remove all the skin. Cut around the neck first, then the back and pull in the direction of the hind legs. Remove legs carefully according to Gray’s anatomy or similar book, and finish. Remove the sebaceous glands in the skin of the shoulders. The head and wings need to be removed as well as all the internal organs. All other glands that make for a bitter taste should be taken out. Consult with the chef for this, and ignore his screaming ( it’s good practice for a TV show). Be sure to wash very well to remove small bones. See that the chef gives you a certificate of completion before continuing to cook the curry. Make the marinade and wait a long time to avoid fainting. Once the bat curry is finished, set aside, but be sure to write in your notebook that the teaspoon of turmeric needs to be balanced by adjustments in the usual tomato sauce recipe for the lasagna. Some lime juice and cumin will do. Adjust to taste.
    After the bat has marinated for two hours in the refrigerator, turn on the oven according to the manufacturer’s directions and set at 375 degrees F (190 C). Check that you have a recently inspected fire extinguisher.
    Boil water but don’t have a cow or baby as in the movies. Boil the lasagna noodles as directed on the package. Drain and rinse with cold water.
    In a baking dish spread sufficient tomato sauce to cover. Distribute a layer of noodles. Crumble some Danish blue cheese over the noodles with a dash of lime juice. Carefully pour a third of the bat curry, and sprinkle with Parmesan and mozzarella cheese. Make a another layer of noodles and continue with tomato sauce, Parmesan, and mozzarella cheese. Continue layering until full.
    Cover with foil but don’t let it touch the food. Cook 25 minutes, remove foil, and cook another 25 minutes or less if the fire alarm goes off, or if there’s knocking at the door.
    As in all high protein dishes it is high in arginine. Or you can chew on some cashew nuts while you’re waiting, but don’t go for a walk because you might forget you have something in the oven, or you might get attacked by some crows or bats while near trees or caves.
    Let cool and settle. Exhale.
    While you’re waiting or searching for a fork, it is a good time to read some poetry. Some wine might help, but remember to use a pot holder for all later maneuvers. If you’re clumsy, don’t have wine, or have someone else serve. Caution: may be hazardous to dogs. Waiting for food to cool can be boring, so find some reading materials. Here is a suggestion, but before starting, make sure your dog is supervised and can’t reach the food.

Reading Materials On Which to Marinate Or Ruminate Thoughts

Funding Manslaughter for Science1
    by Douglas Gilbert

In the spirit of global comraderie,
the People’s Institute of Virology
is thanking you now in retrospect,
kudos for your Dr. Faust for funding us.

Yes, true
dealt a woo hand, the Institute
needed funding for naive research
we cited for comity and gains

Yes, we chortled and urged:
Give us your poor tired
huddled money for our
Gain-of-Function research.
We’ve got the bats and
you’ve got your Dr. Faust

Ah so beautiful the many stars
in the constellation of SARS

But the best of all in uniqueness
has a divine Spike protein, and
it shines brightly in the heavens
with a glorious furin-cleavage site

Spike the ball as they say
because you insouciantly
gave us a win; hegemonic
chaos, pandemic, and sin
for Yuēhàn Doe Pandora

The Confucians said
about chimeras that
the bat jester was
in charge of an
infectious laughter,

but it is as serious as
opening the gates of a zoo,
so the Director can take
money for hunters
to sample the bats
both ZC45 and ZXC21*

And it is said by Faust,
Funding manslaughter
is always a risk worth taking.

What a novel thing that
our propaganda wins

And the stars of SARS
shine brightly beautiful
for the glory of the party.

We infer a Confucius quote:
Learn first and give birth later to
the tyrant of the under-temple,
His Highness X Yuēhàn

Do not
make war; trust and just
leave bellicosity to us

Thanks Mr. Lefty Doe, history densely given
the decadent ones of the West, for
your hooligans praise us, and
we love them as much as
our ruffian farmers
in a fond Orwellian sense

Do not
make war; trust and just
leave bellicosity to us

Learn for peace that we are the Dominant Power now.
We are the wise humans of the Global Community
and you are the Neanderthals of Westerns with test tubes.

1 Douglas Gilbert, Faustti Poems and Jousts (New York: ISBN 978-1-387-90990-2 ), 2022, [Amazon: Faustti-Poems-Jousts-Douglas-Gilbert/dp/1387909908], pp. 13-15.

“Faustti Poems and Jousts” (US)

UK

Canada

France

Germany

Poland

India

Japan

Australia

The Un-naming of the “You-know-what”

The Un-naming of Faust”

As was said in Shakespeare’s works:
“It’s Greek to me,” like Ξ
but nomenclature is
a Blessing Strange ( 福奇 )

For Sino-name-dropping it is a
Blessing – Strange virus
funded by 福奇

Indeed for Sino-hegemony
it’s been a strange blessing for
the weakening of the West

The overlords of Wuhan
were a nest of vipers élan
happy for a blessing strange.

And like improvised explosive rhetorical devices
hidden on the road and belt commerce sites
they were happy to bite

Fauci Tonk Blues

[A blues/rock parody can be tricky if there’s a trochee chorus(accented, unaccented), & you have a technical term of letters.“Honky Tonk Women,” has “Gimme, gimme, gimme.”But I think a blues triplet can be substituted: A triplet has three notes to one beat.Here the triplet is “CGG” (chemical names.) I met her in a gene-stoked lab in ‘olina, she…]

Met her in a gene-stoked lab in ‘olina
and showed me her furin cleavage with a sigh,
she had to spike a glycoprotein on my shoulders
’cause I just can’t seem to drink my science dry

Oh Gain-of-function women
CGG-CGG, so gimmie, the Fauci Tonk blues

She laid a CoV-2 fingerprint in Wuhan, but
I didn’t put up much of a fight,
the lady then covered me in praises
she masked my nose and then she brewed my mind

Oh gain-of-function women
CGG-CGG, so gimmie, the Fauci Tonk blues
Oh gain-of-function women
give me, gimmie, the furin cleavage blues

Gain-of-function women et. al.
give me, give me, Pandora’s brothers too

Honky Tonk Women” by The Rolling Stones
Producer: Jimmy Miller
Composers: Mick Jagger and Keith Richards

The Science Suggests a Wuhan Lab Leak
The Covid-19 pathogen has a genetic footprint that has never been observed in a natural coronavirus.
By Steven Quay and Richard Muller


Bacon, Lettuce, and Tomato and the Dangers of Acronyms & Initialisms

    I haven’t actually liked to talk like I’ve seen on TV shows where they say, “give me a BLT on rye.” I’ve always referred to it as a “bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich.” It only takes 2 seconds to say it so I could never see the point of saying, “gimmie a BLT.” I suppose it’s supposed to be cute and stylish so as to show affection for the sandwich. But I’d rather just eat it and say “mmmm.” I think my parents would have thought it impolite to say, “Gimmie a BLT.”
    Now it’s even worse because BLT is a type of humanized mouse used in research. They infuse several types of human immune cells into mice so those human cells can be harbored there and attacked by various test viruses. It’s a way of having human cells available for experiments without testing it on humans. It stands for (Bone (marrow)-Liver-Thymus human immune stem cells. Then they transplant human lung tissue onto the mouse to produce the ultimate test mouse: the BLT-L humanized mouse. And geez I’ve seen a lot of advertising on the internet for companies who sell BLT-L humanized mice. I would have bought one if they could talk, or if they tasted like bacon.
    Anyway, I saw that and thought to start a poem, but I think I should stop because it’s not a secret anymore. Oh well, I just thought something could be made of it. Here’s the start, and I’ll probably not bother finishing it (although, along the way I found an Italian recipe for cooking a lung to eat[when the lung is fully cooked, it whistles as the passageways collapse which they call “Sibilo Caratatteristico” in Italian):
The Secret Messages from Faustti (Draft 1)

Dear Colleague,
Congratulations on
your performance in
Die Fledermaus

Remember, for prestige, if
you have mice in the kitchen,
bacon, lettuce, and tomato with lung
is best for gaining weight, and
cook-it-up with fur in and cleavage out.

Good news at the world market:
I’ve seen humanized mice
on sale at a good price

But before working
it’s recommended that you
have a hearty breakfast of
Coratella di Abbacchio Con Carciofi

You must try the latest
Bone marrow–liver–thymic
with lung, but since it’s
tedious work it helps
to play music in the background like
“Ode to Sibilo Caratatteristico*.
And remember the song
from The King, the Bat Lady, And I :
“…whenever I feel aghast,
I whistle a cheerful tune…”
Music is infectious, but
the dance of knowledge
must go on. Good luck
and ‘break a leg’.

Faustti, Collards, and Sheez in the Hague (Draft 4)

Things escape notice
with a nod.

Originating from non-existence,
the Scientist is King, soul immaterial
because viable Science is God.

For an elegant experiment
the Death Penalty
is worth the risk.

Things escape
whisked away

Anthony Faustti is known as a hero
for his crowing expositions
on gain-of-function obfuscation

Things escape notice, a tale of
the devil in the details; failure
depends on whose details are scored.

The Death Penalty is a neighbor’s ox
worth the risk if it is gored.

Faustti not quite Richard the 3rd.
in a Shakespearean box, but

The pleas are constructed.
Oh “Context, context,” in Tony III:
“My Kingdom for a bat out of hell…”

Three million dead by gain-of-function
is a modest amount, good for overpopulation.

Plagues are normal episodes, mostly
a beneficial culling of non-scientists,
often happens in a people’s paradise
for the benefit of the Swiftian gullible
who know the poor, frail and old
will pay the price, cold-shouldered
in their malaise, hastened to oblivion

Faustti, Collards, and Sheez
say the Juvenalian are Juvenile.
Perhaps.

But measured by The Black Plague
this population reduction does not
fit a vague standard drawn by lot

Do not let be
such outrages of incompetence.
Death is needed.

In such circumstance
one would not oppose
a convening of an
ad hoc Criminal Tribunal
for “The Mechanism”
at the United Nations
(a simple firing not
being sufficient), and

needling, since
a hypodermic firing squad
is already appointed and
waiting in the wings of a bat,

let Swiftian justice call for
swift execution.
———–
*King Richard the Third, by William Shakespeare; “A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!”
act 5, scene 4

Faustti, Collards, and Sheez in the Hague (Draft 2)

Things escape notice.

Born from a place of non-existence,
the Scientist is King.
Science is God.

For an elegant experiment
the Death Penalty
is worth the risk.

Things escape.

Anthony Faustti is known as a hero
for his masterful expositions
on gain-of-function obfuscation

Things escape notice.
The devil’s in the details.
It depends on whose details.

The Death Penalty is a neighbor’s ox
worth the risk to gore.

Faustti not quite Richard the 3rd.

The pleas.
Oh “Context, context,” in Tony III:
“My Kingdom for a bat out of hell…”

Three million dead by gain-of-function
is a modest amount, helps with overpopulation.

Plagues are normal
a beneficial culling of mostly non-scientists,
often happens in a people’s paradise
for the benefit of the Swiftian gullible
who know the poor, frail and old who are
tired in their malaise, and expendable

Faustti, Collards, and Sheez
say the Juvenalian are Juvenile.
Perhaps.

But measured by The Black Plague
the population reduction is not up to standard.

Such an outrage of incompetence
can not be tolerated. Death is needed.

In such circumstance
one would not oppose
a convening of an
ad hoc Criminal Tribunal
for “The Mechanism”
at the United Nations
(a simple firing not
being sufficient), and

needling,
a hypodermic firing squad
already appointed and
waiting in the wings of a bat,

let Swiftian justice call for
swift execution.

Faustti, Collards, and Sheez in the Hague (Draft 0)

Anthony Faustti is an anti-hero
for his masterful expositions
on gain-of-function obfuscation

The pleas.
Oh “Context, context,” in Tony III:
“My Kingdom for a bat out of hell…”

Three million dead by gain-of-function
is a modest amount, helps with over population.

Plagues are normal
a beneficial culling of mostly non-scientists,
often happens in a people’s paradise
for the benefit of the Swiftian gullible
who know the poor, frail and old who are
tired in their malaise, and expendable

Faustti, Collards, and Sheez
say the Juvenalian are Juvenile.
Perhaps.

But measured by The Black Plague
the population reduction is not up to standard.

Such an outrage of incompetence
can not be tolerated. Death is needed.

In such circumstance
one would not oppose
a convening of an
ad hoc Criminal Tribunal
for “The Mechanism”
at the United Nations
(a simple firing not
being sufficient), and

needling,
a hypodermic firing squad
already appointed and
waiting in the wings of a bat,

let Swiftian justice call for
swift execution.

The Secret Messages from Faustti (Draft 0)

Dear Colleague,
Congratulations on
your performance in
Die Fledermaus

Remember, for prestige, if
you have mice in the kitchen,
bacon lettuce and tomato with lung
is best for gaining weight, and
cook-up with fur in and cleavage out.

Good news at the world market:
I’ve seen humanized mice
on sale at a good price

But before working
it’s recommended that you
have a hearty breakfast of
Coratella di Abbacchio Con Carciofi

You must try the latest
Bone marrow–liver–thymic
with lung, but since it’s
tedious work it helps
to play music in the background like
“Ode to Sibilo Caratatteristico*.
And remember the song
from The King, Bat Lady, And I :
“…whenever I feel aghast,
I whistle a cheerful tune…”
Music is infectious, but
the dance of knowledge
must go on. Good luck
and ‘break a leg’.

Funding Manslaughter for Science (Draft 0)

Dealt a woo hand, the Institute
needed funding for naive research
we said for friendship and knowledge

Yes, we chortled and urged:
Give us your poor tired
huddled money for our
Gain-of-Function research.
We’ve got the bats and
you’ve got your Dr. Faust

Ah so beautiful the many stars
in the constellation of SARS

But the best of all in uniqueness
has a divine Spike protein, and
it shines brightly in the heavens
with a glorious furin-cleavage site

Spike the ball as they say
because the Americans
gave us a win; hegemonic
chaos, pandemic, and sin
for Betsy Ross Pandora

The Confuscians said
about chimeras that
the bat jester was
in charge of an
infectious laughter,

but it is as serious as
opening the gates of a zoo,
so the Director can take
money for hunters
to sample the bats
both ZC45 and ZXC21

And it is said by Faust,
Funding manslaughter
is always a risk worth taking.

What a novel thing that
our propaganda wins

And the stars of SARS
shine brightly beautiful
for the glory of the party.